My (Our) happy "Bordel" .. The place of my sanity

The surroundings of my new life is sometimes a bit messy but it is here where i feel most at ease ... the sort of place I have always felt at ease ... It is here where my heart is ... It is here where my happiness comes to fruition .. I just love to be part of it .. and of course it is where the love of my life is .... Pure Bliss!!

Sometimes my mind is overloading because all the litlle bits (and chunks) of thoughts are tucked neatly in their filing cabinets, and because we do not have as much time as we would like to write them all, they all seem to be stuck in their little "filing boxes" to be looked at later .. not to be forgotten but just on hold ;-)


And then for sure (at the risk of overload) I have to let them out and put them down somewhere .... which is here!

My thoughts are every day with a young boy who wishes his Dad could show him the love he so deeply needs, but doesn't get, and wishes so much his Dad could spend more than 4 hours per week with him. I feel such great sadness for him, as he is so wonderfully talented and bright, and even though we all know it, i think he just wishes the guy that helped to make him, could see it too .. even it it is just a glimpse ....
And above all i think the biggest hope for him is that his Dad "wants" to spend time with him .. but alas .. his dad doesn't seem to "want" ... So sad that you can waste the gift of your own child .. makes me think of this song ..




... And my thoughts are also with my own two babies (well not so babies anymore), who live(d) a different kind of abandon, and with time are learning to cope and accept .. little by little. They are amazing and have made progresses in leaps, in dealing with the loss of their mom. Their sadness, sometimes tangible and lurking beneath the surface, has always touched me deeply ... and as for all parents alike, when your child cries like this in your arms it is heart wrenching.

But there is a light for them as they are surrounded by a loving dad, a just as loving "second mom", and a new sister and brother .. and of course uncles and grandparents ... and even if this does not take their sadness away it comforts them ... and steadies them ...

... And my thoughts are also with those who lost loved ones .. and especially brothers/sisters .. like Rene and many others... Having lost my own brother a few years ago, and still missing him sometimes, i send a little thought out to you guys. Rene, i never got a chance to speak to you, but i wish can find comfort and peace in your heart. Life does go on, and with time it gets better. I am still amazed that today, after some years just one of Charles's favorite songs, can shoot vivid images into my mind, and can bring tears to my eyes...
I am blessed though as in my new life, i have been adopted by Michel .. cut from the same cloth as my own brother, he has become like a second brother to me ... and i love him just as dearly!

And then to my cousin who lost her baby tragically at just a few months old .. My thoughts are with you also, and i am sure i cannot understand fully your loss, but i have compassion for your plight, and your sadness ... and i know with time and the support of those wonderful friends and family around you, every step and every day will be better .. i wish this for you and your husband.

Someone told me:
"It is exceptional that you have found such a great love in your life after what you have lived"
And this is true and even more exceptional that anyone can imagine! I am truly transported at the thought that after all that i had lived, i have since met my "double", and i have been making my life for the last 2 and a bit years with her. I am every day more in love with her, and i am deeply connected to her... She is my best friend, lover, soul mate .. all in one Beautiful package! She always keeps me sane, and always puts a smile on my face, and above all she loves me the same!

And now we have decided to get married on the 6th of Feb 2010! What a joy! I am elated that this Princess has decided to tie the knot with the Bushman (I'm not sure she knows what she is letting herself in for) and could think of nothing more exiting than to spend the rest of my life with her!
To My Princess: Je t'aime grave mon amour! Tu est vraiment le femme de ma vie. Je suis toujours a côte de toi, et ma vie avec toi est exceptionnel! Notre voyage est le plus beau de ma vie!! Je voudrais continue de faire cette voyage avec toi jusque la fin de ma vie!

For everyone that reads this ... i want to share this:

In all you live, every event, find the positive...
In all you give, even the smallest gesture, give truly and without reserve...
In all you receive, even what is owned to you, receive it humbly...
For all you desire, whatever it may be, see first what you already have...
When you walk in life, look around you to see if you stepped on someone...
Before you cry on yourself, even if life smacked you down, cry on those that are suffering beside you ...
You only live once!
Live every moment!
This moment, right now, is all you can be sure of ...

I leave this post with this song...




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