My (Our) happy "Bordel" .. The place of my sanity

The surroundings of my new life is sometimes a bit messy but it is here where i feel most at ease ... the sort of place I have always felt at ease ... It is here where my heart is ... It is here where my happiness comes to fruition .. I just love to be part of it .. and of course it is where the love of my life is .... Pure Bliss!!

Written 29/11/2007 - It is my birthday and i suppose another chance to reflect on the last year .... and last night i had the most wonderful little birthday party given by the love of my life and my 3 kids ... it was beautiful to share and see the joy in their faces for giving such presents to me ... and and last my Princess presented me a gift that brought tears to my eyes ... not only for what it was but for what it represented .... and what it said ... this gift moved me deeply ... and brought a big smile to my face ... MHBTY = My heart belongs to you....

What a wonderful day, with the ones i love around me. I treasure every moment with them ... and every moment i fall deeper in love with my Princess..

Another year older ... maybe wiser ... in any event i am where i want to be ... where i belong ...


Happiness is this ...


So today I say welcome to me in our new life .. it is the life i had been dreaming about for a very long time with the woman that brings me intense happiness and sunshine in my soul. With our 4 beautiful children that are unique and beautiful, each in their own right, and each that brings the both of us immense love and joy (and sometimes some shouts and frustartion ;-) ...)

We have brought together our 2+2 and they are integrating beautifully into our new life and despite some small speedbumps the road is clear and straight to our destination ... the vision we share to be happy in the mountains .. with our litlle guesthouse .. in each others loving arms every day ... sharing our touch, words, thoughts and feelings ... as we have been since the beginning..

The love of my life that helped me resque myself from losing who i was through sadness and dispair ..; the one who gave me the internal strength and determination to face myself and deal with the feelings i buried deep inside my soul, who gave me a look on myself that surprised and awakened me ... I am filled with her, with her love and compassion that she shares with me each day ..

and she is tortured by the beautiful picture she painted to everyone for 20 years ... a picture that shows that everything is OK and nothing is wrong ... but when you tear away the top canvas you find a picture of a mother and wife that is sad and tortured ... torn between the desire to escape a man that did not respect and love her like she so desperately desired ... and the need to keep the family together ... to conform to what was directed and preached.. I share her torture every day and try to make her load lighter by evacuating the feelings and taking her tears with her ... sometimes i wish i could magically take all the burdens and self reproaches away in an instant .. for my love for her is far greater than anyone (even her) can comprehend ... The tears of my princess move me deeply and i take her in my arms eagerly to show her how much i care love and understand ...

I think we were put together because we need each other and we are good for each other ... we were wishing for this ... yearning for it daily in our dreams and thoughts ... and now we are here ... able to do what we wanted .. to be ourselves with each other ... not to pretend and to lie to ourselves and others ... to say things as they are .. as we feel them ... without reserve ...

I am happy here ... happy as i have never been; with my babies ... the love of my life and my 2 new children. And together we are on a journey to our destination and the only thing that matters is that we can all be together for this ride ... we can all enjoy the scenery of life as we pass throught it .. not as tourists but as residents ...

What a beautiful family ...

Nicdev